Rather than suffering through life doing every little thing to the (n)th degree, I need to learn to stop and realize that I am not being judged on all that I do. I know this urge to be perfect is something that I have been dealing with since I was very young and I even know why. I can remember getting an answer incorrect in class in a vocabulary contest. The word was "vivid" and I had never heard the word before. My team needed me to get the answer correct, but there was no way. I thought the answer might have been either vague or memorable. I guessed vague. Memorable may have won the contest for us if the teacher showed mercy, but vague was definitely wrong. My "row" really gave me a hard time for missing that answer and to this day I can still feel my cheeks blush with the embarrassment of it. Since then, I have wanted to always be prepared, always know the answer and always be right, so that I can prevent that kind of embarrassment again. Of course, this is subconscious, mostly, but yet, I live it every day.
Since today is a new day, and the scoreboard is wiped clean, I am going to to take that memory and put it away. And I am going to keep doing a good job, but stop worrying about being perfect.
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| Mr. Voltaire Himself |
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